IC Forum Archive

DeusJester · Posts: 1388

No, really, I want to know!

Now, speaking for myself, there are some pictures floating around which supposedly make me look reasonably attractive, or at the very least not physically repulsive.

To that I say, you have not looked closely enough! me on the left. totally.

So, Forum Axe, how fucking disgusting do you look?

TOLLMASTER · Posts: 1977

I'm relatively ugly. I would look horribly fat if it wasn't for my huge-ish body, however, so I got kind of lucky.

the drunken samurai · Posts: 4645

deuce,you aint THAT bad a looking of a guy,the red eye has me worried though :p

but im worse,being the Irish-Guatemalan that i am has been all too great for me,i look like a white boy but i sound like a dirty spic,on top of that my knowledge of the Spanish language is limited.

so,yeah.

Mister Toups · Posts: 4943

[quote="DeusJester"]No, really, I want to know!

Now, speaking for myself, there are some pictures floating around which supposedly make me look reasonably attractive, or at the very least not physically repulsive.

To that I say, you have not looked closely enough! [color=black]me on the left. totally.[/color]

So, Forum Axe, how fucking disgusting do [i]you[/i] look?[/quote]

No, you're on the right side of that image.

At least you aren't the dude in the background on the left!

DeusJester · Posts: 1388

Yeah, I just noticed that guy while going through my E3 pictures. Not sure where he came from.

The asian guy with the beer is Che Chou, though (who doesn't look all that great himself there).

Lookit me, all hobnobbing with games journalism royalty and shit.

Psiga · Posts: 3990

I've posted this before, but I still think this one pretty much takes the cake for making all of us look bad:

[img]http://static.flickr.com/3/14671419_b67015382f_o.jpg[/img]

newave looks okay at first, but then you notice the pot belly that he's growing. Woo.

And the antidote for everyone except DJ is right here:

[img]http://static.flickr.com/9/14671429_3d3659aa53_o.jpg[/img]

DeusJester · Posts: 1388

Wow. The first one is a really horrible picture of Elisa, especially. Everyone just looks much fatter in that one. Even you look sort of pear-shaped, which is ridiculous as you're quite svelte in real life. Must've been the angle it was taken at.

Psiga · Posts: 3990

When I had my passport photo taken, my mother told me that I looked "like a 30 year old terrorist" and later said that I looked like I "have cancer." I actually think that particular shot makes me look worse than I do in my passport. Under the right light and framing, I can look like a total fucking rock star -- but I can just as easily look like I'm a 30 year old terrorist with cancer.

professor_scissors · Posts: 1033

WHen I'm clean-shaven and I've had a haircut I look good enough. Otherwise, I look like a wild, untamed beast. And not in the sexy way.

Chuplayer · Posts: 775

If I was a little thinner and had longer hair, I'd be significantly less ugly.

FortNinety · Posts: 4591

I look okay. As good as someone who looked like Stephan King in junior high could look I guess. Hey, I gotta girlfriend, so I can't look THAT bad.

I could stand to loose some weight, but since I'm an old guy, I ain't trying too hard.

Mister Toups · Posts: 4943

[quote="DeusJester"]Wow. The first one is a really horrible picture of Elisa, especially. Everyone just looks much fatter in that one. Even you look sort of pear-shaped, which is ridiculous as you're quite svelte in real life. Must've been the angle it was taken at.[/quote]

It's also what happens when you wear pants that are even a little too baggy, and have you hands in your pockets but are pulling them as far away from your legs as the pants allow them. Makes your whole body look weird.

I uh, think a lot about how to make yourself look less fat.

Psiga · Posts: 3990

[quote="Mister Toups"]It's also what happens when you wear pants that are even a little too baggy, and have you hands in your pockets but are pulling them as far away from your legs as the pants allow them. Makes your whole body look weird.[/quote]
Right on, yes. I have a thing for baggy pantlegs, but it's hard to find baggy legs without a baggy torso as well. Some day I shall have my clothes custom tailored. When I am wealthy beyond measure. Or at least beyond leisure. As soon as you can afford to do everything, you're too busy to do anything, you know?

Hot Stott Bot · Posts: 2097

[quote="DeusJester"]Now, speaking for myself, there are some pictures floating around which supposedly make me look reasonably attractive, or at the very least not physically repulsive.

To that I say, you have not looked closely enough! [color=black]me on the left. totally.[/color][/quote]

You would look a hell of a lot better if you organized that facial hair in some kind of remotely rational manner.

doomquake · Posts: 765

Just about every person I've ever met says I look a lot like ginger Graeme Garden.

Baron Patsy · Posts: 573

http://img510.imageshack.us/my.php?image=dsc007410wr.jpg

So yeah. Pretty damned ugly.

Sorry about how blurry it is, I, uh, can't physically keep my hands from shaking. Thus, can't really take non-blurry pictures. Seriously!

Psiga · Posts: 3990

[quote="Baron Patsy"]Sorry about how blurry it is, I, uh, can't physically keep my hands from shaking. Thus, can't really take non-blurry pictures. Seriously![/quote]
Shaking hands used to ruin at least half of every decent shot that I would take. For some reason, that has calmed down to the point that only 1 in about 12 shots seem to be ruined.

Either way, I am going to get one of these:

http://panasonic.co.jp/pavc/global/lumix/fx9_8/megaois_leica.html

And, dammit, one of these:

http://konicaminolta.com/products/consumer/digital_camera/slr/maxxum-7d/02.html

Mr. Business · Posts: 1530

[quote="DeusJester"]No, really, I want to know![/quote]

I'm not so very sure that you do.

Persona-sama · Posts: 1145

[quote="Baron Patsy"]http://img510.imageshack.us/my.php?image=dsc007410wr.jpg

So yeah. Pretty damned ugly.

Sorry about how blurry it is, I, uh, can't physically keep my hands from shaking. Thus, can't really take non-blurry pictures. Seriously![/quote]

You look like a Kid Rogers.

Me?
I'm an Asian Elvis.

DeusJester · Posts: 1388

[quote="Hot Stott Bot"]You would look a hell of a lot better if you organized that facial hair in some kind of remotely rational manner.[/quote]

Well, for the record, here's a picture I took three seconds ago, so it reflects my current facial hair status (please ignore the stupid look on my face):

http://static.flickr.com/42/79746928_01162429a4_o.jpg

Pictures where you can't see my eye color automatically make me look horrible. It's sort of neat, actually.

The black and white isn't an artistic statement or anything, it's just the only way to get anything to show up in my photos because the flash on the camera is broken. I can amp up the brightness and the contrast in Photoshop in black and white and still look remotely human. With color it gives me the skin tone of a zombie.

Like Fort90 said, though, I've already got a girlfriend, so I'm not ultraconcerned about how I look.

Amusuingly, when she started dating me I was actually in really good shape. I used to weigh 240 lbs, but by the time she saw me I'd gotten all the way down to 165, and most of it was muscle.

My weight does flux a lot, though. At E3 I was 210, for example. Now I'm back down to 190, which isn't that bad given my height (6 foot). I'm hoping the vegetarianism will plateau that off a little.

Baron Patsy, you DO look like a younger, skinnier Tim Rogers. I think it's the wristband. You look fine besides that, though. Kind of a geekier Strokes thing going on, which works.

And all the people who are like "Hey, I wouldn't look hideous if this or that", PICTURES, motherfuckers! Nobody here looks like a model, so what have you got to loose? Cough 'em up!

mweh heh heh.

Psiga · Posts: 3990

Hah, the beard makes you look like you're in your late 20s.

We both look older in photos than we really are, I think.

Also, you didn't look overweight at all during E3, so at least you've got the [i]perceived[/i] image in a good place.

DeusJester · Posts: 1388

Well, I'm 24 now (or will be in two days, anyway), so my appearance isn't that off. The beard definitely adds a few years.

Tim Rogers is 26 and looks like he's 19 in person. It's scary.

I don't think I actually look all that different now than I did at E3, but the scale and my belt show a pretty big difference. Years of being heavy taught me to hide it at least somewhat well, which I do even when I don't really need to, so I have to move through a number of weight ranges before it starts to really become apparent. Elisa didn't believe I'd lost any weight at all until I showed her the scale, and even then she thought it was broken until we repeated the procedure at my parent's house the next day.

She still keeps going "Well, you don't look any different" which I guess is a good thing.

DaleNixon · Posts: 766

I can't see images or avatars right now. I think I'm a decent looking bloke until I make any facial expression at which point I look like an inbred freak.

Psiga · Posts: 3990

[quote="DeusJester"]She still keeps going "Well, you don't look any different" which I guess is a good thing.[/quote]
I postulate that you gain your weight in density rather than girth. If you just kept eating, you would eventually become a fully inert carbon form, not unlike a Rennaisance sculpture.

It would be just your luck that you'd freeze in one of those absurd facial expressions, though.

Either way, I promise to keep you as a lawn ornament.

Dark Age Iron Savior · Posts: 3148

Does anyone else find this thread very depressing?

the drunken samurai · Posts: 4645

i find it fun!

Psiga · Posts: 3990

Pretty much everybody with the guts to post does not even look that bad under regular circumstances. It's almost more of a "post bad pictures of yourself!" thread, which is awesome.

B coma · Posts: 1455

and on that note:

http://photobucket.com/albums/v188/manicquicksand/?action=view&current=Resize_of_SD_Party.jpg

yeah, don't drink. unless you want that to happen.

DeusJester · Posts: 1388

I don't find it depressing at all.

It was supposed to be tounge-in-cheek anyway. Nobody here is circus-sideshow hideous or anything. If you are, don't post your picture or I'll feel like an asshole.

Psiga hit it on the head.

I'm obviously not the best looking guy on the face of the planet, but I really don't fucking care. And! I encourage everyone else to feel the same way, because merely having that attitude about yourself makes you look twice as good as you actually do.

Assuming you're male. If you're female, you've got an uphill battle. Sucks, really. I blame the American Media!

Psiga · Posts: 3990

Unless of course he is depressed because our definition of 'ugly' is really just 'bad pictures of otherwise good looking guys'. It's like the ol' bait and switch.

I'll be taking a picture of my passport and Nevada ID soon, which are as bad as most card photos are, so I'll add those when I can.

On the same token as my "30 year old terrorist with cancer" story, I once took a photo of myself at 16 that I thought looked acceptable, but when my mother saw it, she insisted that I delete it immediately because it made me "look like a serial killer."

So I guess, overall, that makes me 'Jesus II, the 30 year old serial-killing terrorist with cancer'.

When I was 16, my boss at the time said that I looked like Spike from Cowboy Bebop -- though he insisted that our musician looked just like Vash, and his girlfriend looked just like Belldandy, so the kid definitely had some anime goggles on.

Aaand... I have my college student ID from when I was 16. You'd think that I was at least 18 from looking at it. You'd also think that I was high on something, though I wasn't. I won't be showing that, since it is me before my long hair. THE ILLUSION MUST BE MAINTAINED. WE CANNOT RUIN THE MYSTIQUE.

Jeff Garneau · Posts: 1622

I think I'm generally pretty attractive.

Just look at my avatar when it comes back.

DeusJester · Posts: 1388

Psiga w/o long hair = teh hot. Picturez plz.

Psiga · Posts: 3990

I'll show it to you when we meet up for E3'06. Be forewarned: I was totally rocking the asymmetrical facial hair too.

I think, you know, if I ever decide to go crazy, I will cut off almost all of my hair, leaving just enough for one incredible mohawk. Then I would grow a neckbeard. Just nothing but facial hair from the neck. Everything else would be clean shaven. Even the eyebrows, and especially the eyebrows.

Fucking stupid eyebrows.

DeusJester · Posts: 1388

Just picturing that made me loose an erection.

MISSION COMPRETE!

Psiga · Posts: 3990

[quote="DeusJester"]Just picturing that made me loose an erection.

MISSION COMPRETE![/quote]
"loose an erection" can be taken in the completely opposite direction.

Rud13 · Posts: 3277

[quote="Baron Patsy"]http://img510.imageshack.us/my.php?image=dsc007410wr.jpg

So yeah. Pretty damned ugly.

Sorry about how blurry it is, I, uh, can't physically keep my hands from shaking. Thus, can't really take non-blurry pictures. Seriously![/quote]

Get some rounder lenses.

I'm trying to think of why, outside of I KNOW it will look good.

Baron Patsy · Posts: 573

Yeah, I was actually seriously considering getting a different style of frames/lenses when I go to the eye doctor in like a week. These lenses are too small vertically, it's like I'm looking out a little, narrow window.

Fun fact: I'm legally blind in one eye without my glasses!

Psiga · Posts: 3990

Being legally blind means that you have a valid excuse to wear an eyepatch in public -- yet you do not take advantage of this wond'rous happenstance? To each his own, sir!

LW Joestar · Posts: 1358

[quote="Baron Patsy"]Sorry about how blurry it is, I, uh, can't physically keep my hands from shaking. Thus, can't really take non-blurry pictures. Seriously![/quote]

I have the same problem. Ironically, it is only natural that I am very much interested in taking pictures of things.

O CRUEL FATE!

DeusJester · Posts: 1388

[quote="Psiga"][quote="DeusJester"]Just picturing that made me loose an erection.

MISSION COMPRETE![/quote]
"loose an erection" can be taken in the completely opposite direction.[/quote]

No, that's the direction you're supposed to take it in. Otherwise it would've been "lose".

Psiga · Posts: 3990

Gay punk fetish, have you?

How's your hangover, by the way? I should just automatically say that to people instead of 'happy new year'.

DeusJester · Posts: 1388

Oh, I'm fine. I've long since become immune to the hangover, for the most part. Usually I only get one if there's been profuse vomiting the night prior, and that's very rare.

Nothing dehydrates you faster than emptying twice your stomach content in used vodka and acid-eaten pizza all over the sidewalk.

DaleNixon · Posts: 766

Two glasses of water + aspirin + staying up 45 minutes without drinking anything alcoholic before you crash out = teh win.

DeusJester · Posts: 1388

Replace "water" with "Pedialyte" and you don't even need to stay awake the 45 minutes, you can conk right out. I learned that from the band Pantera! FOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

extralife · Posts: 3316

I am an ugly motherfucker. Consequently, I possess no pictures of myself to post.

Rya.Reisender · Posts: 985

I'm ugly enough to have a twin on ugly.com

schmeetz · Posts: 353

People tell me I look pretty all right/good, even, but when it comes to pictures...it's a mess. Anybody else have that problem?

Rya.Reisender · Posts: 985

I can confirm that.

Hi Top Post.

the vinculum gate · Posts: 2868

balbanes says i look like i take fashion tips from the strokes

i think i am better looking than him :idea:

Psiga · Posts: 3990

Before and after a wash.