IC Forum Archive

Guardian FINAL · Posts: 1137

Rather than attempting a contribution to the WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?!?!?! thread, I decided to make this one. You see, what I am probably doing with my life is working full-time jobs that have nothing to do with my philosophy degree and little to do with my interests, probably never finding a career, and possibly killing my inspiration and genius. As I do these things, however, I intend to brilliantly apply myself as an original thinker/artiste to a number of projects, which I will outline below. I am not concerned with people stealing my ideas, and do not think any of you should be either, because I know that no one is capable of executing these with the vision that they encompass other than myself.

Some of these are projects I have had in mind for years, while others are flashes that occurred to me just last night. Often I get ideas while reading and listening to music in the car, occassionally looking up and gazing out the window while I digest. Other times things come to me as I lie and smoke in silence. A lot of passionate inspiration comes from literary input like reading excellent philosophy or really feeling a grasp on the symbols of a songwriter's lyrics. So these are some of the things that, at the age of 22, I want to make during my lifetime. It might sound like a lot, but keep in mind that these are pretty much all of my major project ideas (though they hardly reflect a large portion of my active interests) and that I have done nearly no work on several of them beyond a little thinking and note-writing.

Soon after posting in this thread, I had this vision of art gallery exhibits that retold the stories of videogames through carefully selected stills of the games. In particular, I felt like doing some sort of intricate trace art that would render the precise sprite figures and backgrounds of Metroid 1, 2, and 3 stills in color pencil or sculpture or watercolors or, ooh, charcoal. Then the images would be placed in sequence, telling the story that I once experienced as its player. Imagine a vast multi-game project made up of series like this one -- using a different art style for each game's story.

Last night I was lying in bed, enjoying a cigarette before sleepy-bye time, and I happened to be listening to Boards of Canada. For awhile now I have been considering music as an art form that manipulates or, perhaps more accurately, works in mood. It's quite obvious if you think of the way music affects you. It tones your entire world, inside and out, especially as a secondary sonic accompaniment to our primarily visual senses. I quite like Heidegger's description of mood as a mode of being. Music works in mood as if it were its paints, but here's the really cool part: within this modular context, music presents temporal events as its content. Thus it can do things like creating a mood and bending it over time, placing objects within it that give the mood dynamics such as a definite climax. I want to write an essay that offers a definitive description of music as an artistic medium uniquely capable of this.

One of my greatest inspirations is science. I get so excited reading anything from theoretical astronomy, biology, or physics. It is very meaningful to me that I have a clear understanding of the develpment of the Universe from the moments following the Big Bang to the most recent socio-political characteristics of human beings -- and my picture becomes more detailed with every new discovery of scientific researchers. For instance, a few years ago researches violently collided gold ions together at such high speeds that they broke the record for the density of matter, creating a state in which temperatures higher than a trillion degrees existed. Scientists believe that, with continued experiments, they can recreate a state of matter that has not existed since the earliest moments of the Universe. This adds further detail to my understanding of the Universe as continually abstracting. I have wanted for a long time now to write a new myth, a telling of this entire story from a scientific point of view. There are some books out there that do this, and they have both their bright and dim aspects, but I want to look for more and consider whether there is enough that is unique to my own perspective to warrant a project.

Another thing that occurred to me more recently is to write and record a concept album of songs about the cosmos but as an allegory for, you know, human condition stuff. It sounds like it would be tacky but I wouldn't let it be.

I find Jason Molina's music to be so inspirational that I'm starting to think of him as the poet of our times. I've not only been wanting for some time to write numerous essays about his themes and symbols, but I actually feel inspired at times to write a kind of Philosophy of the Blues, unpacking what I feel comes through in his songwriting as a kind of religion about redemption through suffering and the struggle to be authentic.

I want to take the Bleach story (when it's finished) and turn it into a ground-breaking action game with RPG elements. I think the story would lend itself perfectly to the kind of expression that I see videogames as being uniquely capable of. The brash and undisciplined main character's unusual innate power and his gradual, plot-linked development of it is at the core of the story, especially as his extraordinary determination grants him strength at the most impossible of times. I want to make a videogame that closely ties the plot to the system of numbers backing up the player-character's abilities. I think that would demonstrate a new language for expression.

Unfortunately, I don't have even the slightest ability to make a videogame. What I intend to do is draft a very, very detailed and lengthy design document, and someday, when I'm happy with it, I'll pitch it and beg to Michel Ancel or somebody.

After that project, I will design a more difficult videogame adaptation of Jean-Paul Sartre's Nausea. Boy, do I have visions for that one.

I've also been writing a feature-length movie for the last few years. I have full, highly detailed descriptions of most of the key scenes that include setting descriptions, camera angles and effects, character action, music cues, etc. I also have descriptions of the movie's themes, conflicts, and resolutions. However, I don't have a word of dialogue. I plan to continue working on this and someday get it to a good director, oversee its production, and perhaps even star in it. It will be different from anything I've ever seen, romantic and existential.

So. What inspires you guys, and what are you making or planning to make? What personal projects have you completed?

icycalm · Posts: 442

Guardian I skimmed your post, at least I have the guts to admit it. Most people just take a look at this thread and then click the "back" button right away.

Actually, I was thinking of writing an article about why I only skim videogame-related writings these days. The gist is this: why should I read your post when I still haven't read all of Shakespeare's works?

I've said it before, Legal Step might very well be the only person here who knows how to post on a videogame forum. Have you ever seen him post more than two lines?

In any case, I do want to bump this topic and also I don't want to come off as an asshole so I'll post something on-topic.

For me it's very hard to get inspired because right now I am quite well-off. It's much easier to be inspired when I am not doing so good. What inspires me is the future. So basically, I am writing sci-fi stuff. But I can't tell you about it because then I'd have to kill you. So I won't.

Guardian FINAL · Posts: 1137

Would you at least say something about the kind of sci-fi or the kind of sci-fi situations that you are interested in?

As for the rest, yes, I know, you're right, I'm too long-winded, and everyone knows it. That's why I'm always standing around and waving my hands in everyone's faces until I get some recognition. But thanks.

Also, Shakespeare shares my birthday, so there's a reason. Except he's not that great.

icycalm · Posts: 442

I'll have you know that the Bard thinks YOU'RE not that great.

As for the sci-fi thing, there is a very good reason I can't talk about it. It's the kind of book that is bound to be written sooner or later... so if I talk about the plot here then someone might conceivably steal it. The idea for the plot is so good that you don't even have to be a good writer to pull it off. Even Toups could do it.

Maztorre · Posts: 1175

OK I'll bite:

I have been sketching and writing concepts for an action game with RPG elements. It is completely statless, and I'm working my way through attempting to convey progress purely through the player model. I'm also trying to make a gameplay-derived narrative model, which works much like the quest book in Morrowind but is generated from the random actions of the player. Basically attempting to wrap pregenerated text from taking and completing quests along with actions taken by the player such as travelling by boat somewhere or falling from a waterfall, and presenting the written log of this as a cohesive story. I expect this idea to go nowhere in particular for now while I naively study computer science. I could also name at least 10 more concepts I've spent time fleshing out, and probably another 10 based on singular ideas. I think that Peter Molyneux is an overenthusiastic genius. His concepts touch on exactly the kind of game I want to make, but are limited by technology and development time. Fortunately I think this coming generation will allow him to make the Fable he wanted to. My 5 year old brother's discovery of videogames has also given me a fresh perspective on how games should be designed. That he plays Sonic Mega Collection and Mario Bros above all else is an encouraging sign.

Much of my inspiration comes from walks. I have spent up to 10-12 hours at a time walking through cities, forests, mountains, accompanied by my housemate on many occasions. Currently I work in a betting office part-time so that brings its own share of ideas, despite my general disinterest in the day-to-day workings of it all. At all times I bring my well-worn iPod. The greying of the wires and scratches on the back are signs of character, I insist. It contains various music I enjoy (which I won't go into here), as well as zip and movie files of things I think my friends would find of interest.

Manga is another medium I draw inspiration from. I have been buying the Ragnarok manga lately, and I currently follow translations of Air Gear and Over Rev. I encourage you to try a few volumes and see what you think. Anime is sometimes a little bland for my tastes but I enjoy most of Gainax's shows as well as just about all of Shinichiro Watanabe's work.

I try and see at least one new film a week. Withnail and I is my favourite film in a while.

I follow astronomy and biology when I can, much of which has inspired me to write sci-fi concepts that are epic on that near-inconceivable scale the Universe operates at. Please buy The Blue Planet, narrated by David Attenborough, if you have any interest in marine life. The hour they spend covering the deep sea is worth the price alone.

Thanks to my parents for collecting encyclopedia for me at a young age. And for the Megadrive.

Guardian if you want to listen to "songs about the cosmos but as an allegory for, you know, human condition stuff", try the Flaming Lips I suppose. They do that. Also I think both you and Legal Step are awesome posters, so rock on, both of you! TAKE THAT ICYCLAMS!

Psiga · Posts: 3990

(Totally started writing before icy came along and toup-posted.)
Gah! Too much to write about, G.

I'll try to get the ball rolling, though, and see what I write...

I'm the guy who's up at three in the morning, pacing back and forth in a dark living room, hands clasped behind his back, thinking, thinking, thinking.

In my youth I was inspired by things from cartoons, like Louie's Island, or the Turtles' Lair, and took that to my LEGOs and the spare pages of my school assignments. Where some people liked building things with LEGOs, I liked building things that brimmed with novel ideas and hidden features; where some people doodled in the margins, I doodled in all of the whitespace, turning every page into intricate sprawls of caves and scaffolding, with airlocks and waterfalls, submarines and airships.

In my teens, I was inspired by things from games and research on ergonomics and industrial design. This was to be honed into a career in game design that I cut short because I realized that the career would make me happy but wouldn't leave me fulfilled. Being an all-or-nothing guy, I shot cold my plans to work in the game biz.

Around 20, I was inspired by stories of strange new technologies and strange old techniques that hadn't been used or researched to their fullest extents. One of my favorite things to do is consider a good idea and figure out how to turn it into a great idea, or how to take two things that are underutilized and hybridize them into something important. I decided to start a home business that would allow me to be creative on my own time, and give me an excuse to do more of this research; to do hands-on research and also make some of it a tax writeoff.

Around 22 I had a stupid-yet-virtuous crush on a girl whom I don't like to think about anymore, and I was inspired by that to be the best person I could be. An idea struck me, while considering somebody else's failed attempt at doing something interesting, and that idea turned into the foundation of a charitable organization that will be, if executed properly, a win-win-win-win situation. Four wins seems like a divine gift of a business idea, so my other idea has been dropped to the way-side (though I wouldn't have had my new idea if it weren't for the things that I learned while developing my previous business, so it's all great).

Now, at 23, I am actually inspired by all of the same things as before. There's a part of me that still feels like the seven year old dancing around the livingroom while listening to the theme from the Main St. Electrical Parade on my dad's hi-fi, though now I'm head-bobbing and toe-tapping along to music from Vib Ribbon on my Ozone-filtered laptop. I still think of the cool, elite, utterly fictional places like Louie's Island and Balamb Garden, and that inspires me to find or make those places in the real world.

That, really, is why I stuck around insert credit. On its good days, it feels like one of those cool, elite, utterly fictional places.

So, yeah. I'm holding on to whatever innocence I've got left, always thinking of ways to make good things better, aiming for the win-win situation, striving to make and find the places that are as cool as or cooler than they look on the surface, and believing that whatever it takes to do whatever it is we're here to do, I've got it.

As for specific projects? They're classified.

-Psiga

Maztorre · Posts: 1175

Oh snap I forgot LEGO! God I loved that stuff before they started making a specialty brick for everything.

Shapermc · Posts: 2450

I am not important, and never will be. I aspire to be a teacher one day, but am stuck in the military right now. Projects? Well, I am working on The Gamer's Quarter as you may know. Honestly Insert Credit (Brandon to be even more specifically) inspired the hell out of me.

But, I don't think you are talking about that.

I don't know where I get my inspiration. Usually it comes from some off-hand thought or comment. I recently wrote an entire article based on a small thought left in response to my livejournal. I am also writing an entire article because of one very familiar sprite and how it affected me profoundly and unexpectedly.

I have had a very hard time with music my entire life. I have always been horrible with lyrics because I think they are at times pretty pointless. (not for this topic, I know) I will quite frequently continue on when I feel all hope is lost because of music. I don't mean I-want-slit-my-wrists-life-is-horrible kind of thing. More like just when I think I have lost heart. Music will keep me focused until I find the reason I started something. That... did not quite come out right. Anyways, because of this I really love my iPod and the shuffle function. I use to have an MP3 CD player which was good, but I had too much control of the small amount of random that you can fit on a burnable CD. With the 40gigs on the iPod and putting just everything on there I will frequently get hit with just the right thing at just the right time to keep going. Most of the time it just gives me background noise.

Anyways. I also get a lot of inspiration from film. Usually it is the kind that shows me how wonderful, creative and amazing the would and humans are.

So, now that this is out there, that was fun. I don't know all of my inspirations, but usually it is because of another person. In turn I am reminded of how humanity has not failed ... which I sometimes think based on the news this is not a politics comment, don't even go there with this topic..

Guardian FINAL · Posts: 1137

lol I'm such a controversial figure.

To be more honest, the reason why I would write something like this is because I want to get it down, to take stock, and I have been finding it hard to write lately without at least being able to pretend that I'm talking to someone. That's where a lot of my posts come from.

But it's very cool that you guys are biting. I really don't relate to a thread that asks what are you doing with your life, and it's much more interesting to me to see what people are or want to be working on.

Goddamnit, Ice. That just makes me more interested, especially since I'm the type who finds most sci-fi samey and banal. Maybe you could whisper it to me? I'll probably never write sci-fi. Pleeease??

icycalm · Posts: 442

Dude I really am flattered by your interest but my whole goddamn future depends on this so I can't. In 6 months it will be ready and I'll fucking email you the first draft.

Guardian FINAL · Posts: 1137

Alright. I'm a very good editor, too, so I'll pay you back with suggestions.

Maztorre wrote:

attempting to convey progress purely through the player model.

Would you mind explaining what you mean by that?

I also agree, a little more measuredly, about Molyneux. His games on paper are very inspiring and always remind me of myself, but then I play them.

Any particular Flips I should check out?

FortNinety · Posts: 4591

Guardian FINAL, ever heard of LiveJournal?

veen · Posts: 131

I have many ideas for books that I will likely never write. also many fragments and first pages and unpublishable poems. if my temperament or circumstance shifts drastically in the future I may create something beautiful.

shakespeare is not overrated. except for his early shitty historical plays.

icycalm · Posts: 442

LJ sucks man. As do 99 percent of web logs.

FortNinety · Posts: 4591

icycalm wrote:

LJ sucks man. As do 99 percent of web logs.

I only ask because it seems like all of his topics seem like LJ posts, even by IC standards.

Guardian FINAL · Posts: 1137

FortNinety wrote:

Guardian FINAL, ever heard of LiveJournal?

Why are you constantly following me around, biting at my heels?

Guardian FINAL wrote:

The reason why I would write something like this is because I want to get it down, to take stock, and I have been finding it hard to write lately without at least being able to pretend that I'm talking to someone. That's where a lot of my posts come from.

And people like me anyway. Go dig up a bone or something.

FortNinety wrote:

I only ask because it seems like all of his topics seem like LJ posts, even by IC standards.

Bonus: You're a weak writer.

Maztorre · Posts: 1175

Guardian FINAL wrote:

Maztorre wrote:

attempting to convey progress purely through the player model.

Would you mind explaining what you mean by that?

I mentioned this in a previous thread, but I'll explain here. I basically want the player to measure themselves against the game enemies, and for the player to see and judge for themselves if their character is weary, or how proficient they are with weapons or spells. Without any other kind of stat-based indicators. So it's up to you, say you're playing as a warrior, to judge, through the avatar model and animation (the development of their body muscle, the amount of grace they wield weaponry with) if you are able to defeat an enemy. I want to make most of the world open from the start, so the player can keep wandering the land until they reach a limit as to what they can achieve. The reaction I want from the player is that they're going to actually be brave and adventurous, and maybe try a desperate battle, have a lucky escape, experiences like that.

There are a bunch of incidental things I want to include as a result of the player's choices. Like, minor "punishments" for people who obsessively train in a single discipline against the same enemies (grinding, basically). Someone who keeps devoting all their time going over the same Necromancy spells may start to lose their sanity, forget the human languages completely, and be shunned from the human societies. This will all be reflected in the player model, and they'll have to spend time to regain their lost self.

FortNinety · Posts: 4591

Guardian FINAL wrote:

FortNinety wrote:

Guardian FINAL, ever heard of LiveJournal?

Why are you constantly following me around, biting at my heels?

Because as idiotic as it may be to fall into a message board flamer war, you apparently (though perhaps unintentionally) enjoy giving me grief, so I'm just paying it back I suppose.

Also, its hard not to poke fun at a guy who openly admits...

Guardian FINAL wrote:

As for the rest, yes, I know, you're right, I'm too long-winded, and everyone knows it. That's why I'm always standing around and waving my hands in everyone's faces until I get some recognition. But thanks.

Sorry but I do have a nasty haibt of going after folks that take themselves way too seriously. But I do enjoy your threads.... though mostly because its fun to see when you snap and get all pissy for no good reason.

FortNinety wrote:

Bonus: You're a weak writer.

No, just a writer that's in love with the word "seems". I use it a lot!

Guardian FINAL · Posts: 1137

I don't recall ever meaning to give you grief. Perhaps you are the one who takes himself too seriously.

The reason why I tend to be long-winded is that I have a history of defending myself from people like you on message boards. The reason why I snap easily is because I am paranoid that people on message boards are like you.

FortNinety · Posts: 4591

Guardian FINAL wrote:

I don't recall ever meaning to give you grief. Perhaps you are the one who takes himself too seriously.

The reason why I tend to be long-winded is that I have a history of defending myself from people like you on message boards. The reason why I snap easily is because I am paranoid that people on message boards are like you.

I'm not going to go and start citing examples because that would be super gay.

But as you already spelled out, you are way too conscious of yourself, which actually attracts attention if you think about it(hell, I don't know why I'm picking on you really). Just don't be so concerned about what others have to say (yeah I'm contradicting myself, but in order to prove a point, so its okay). And as I already said many times before, you need to relax dude.

Crazy Bacon Lips · Posts: 783

Maztorre wrote:

Guardian FINAL wrote:

Maztorre wrote:

attempting to convey progress purely through the player model.

Would you mind explaining what you mean by that?

I mentioned this in a previous thread, but I'll explain here. I basically want the player to measure themselves against the game enemies, and for the player to see and judge for themselves if their character is weary, or how proficient they are with weapons or spells. Without any other kind of stat-based indicators. So it's up to you, say you're playing as a warrior, to judge, through the avatar model and animation (the development of their body muscle, the amount of grace they wield weaponry with) if you are able to defeat an enemy. I want to make most of the world open from the start, so the player can keep wandering the land until they reach a limit as to what they can achieve. The reaction I want from the player is that they're going to actually be brave and adventurous, and maybe try a desperate battle, have a lucky escape, experiences like that.

There are a bunch of incidental things I want to include as a result of the player's choices. Like, minor "punishments" for people who obsessively train in a single discipline against the same enemies (grinding, basically). Someone who keeps devoting all their time going over the same Necromancy spells may start to lose their sanity, forget the human languages completely, and be shunned from the human societies. This will all be reflected in the player model, and they'll have to spend time to regain their lost self.

Any particular Flips I should check out?

I think The Soft Bulletin has what you're looking for.

This sounds like what Fable should have been.

icycalm · Posts: 442

would it help if i changed my avatar to a starving african child?

FortNinety · Posts: 4591

Was I complaining? Hells no.

Guardian FINAL · Posts: 1137

Whatever, Fortie. Your post makes no sense, but I have had no real qualms with you. I agree that I need to chill out, but like I said, there are reasons why I am uptight when it comes to internet communication. Your deliberately attacking me for no reason certainly isn't going to help, and I have no intention of taking people on the internet less seriously because, unlike the many people who have suggested that I do that, I have respect for people and believe that they are capable of representing themselves accurately online; thus, if people criticize me, I am going to take it seriously. If people totally ignore the important parts of a mission I have outlined in their attempts to meet it, I am going to feel frustrated. If people consistently take digs at me for no reason whatsoever, I am going to tell them to fuck off.

Fuck off.

FortNinety · Posts: 4591

You can respond to this if you want, or ignore it, but one is not going to get very far in life when they choose to bare it all online and yet not be able to handle people throwing in their own two cents when its disagreeable without any degree of calmness. Yeah getting smart-alecky comments at what you feel is very valid and heartfelt sentiments sucks and all, but that comes with the territory. I've accepted it and perhaps you should to. And like I also already said, I know I've been a jerk today, but when one goes around spouting off in an open forum in such a manner, expect for at least one person to become annoyed to the point that they want to start pushing buttons.

You can go cry in your corner now, I'm done.

Psiga · Posts: 3990

icycalm wrote:

would it help if i changed my avatar to a starving african child?

And yeah, if a mod could shave off the hairy troll spam from this thread, I'd like that. I actually wrote something meaningful, you know.

-Psiga

FortNinety · Posts: 4591

Psiga wrote:

And yeah, if a mod could shave off the hairy troll spam from this thread, I'd like that. I actually wrote something meaningful, you know.

-Psiga

Actually, I did read what you had to say. And I too was inspired by Legos, which tied into my interests in drawing, the whole act of creating something.

In the 2nd grade I created an identity for myself based upon my ability to draw Star Wars characters. From there it was Transformers, Star Trek ships, Marvel super heroes, and all that other jazz. But at a certain point, something clicked and I though to myself, "I can do something better than all that"

Now my inspiration is somewhat clearly based on the belief that I can do something better than the next guy. Maybe that's good or bad, I don't know.