IC Forum Archive

108 · Posts: 2600

Check the front page!!

Fear!!

the reivew is here

and the hours of screaming nonsense some of you claim to love is right here

it's for everyone!!

i'm going to go buy some olive oil now!

Agent Orange · Posts: 194

FINAHLLY!!
I liked the review, though it's only average compared to other writings of yours. You seem to be gettin tame on your old days ;)

BTW: LPN Forums got busted by ~~Barret~~ $_REQUEST[nigga]. I fixed them. Are we making backups?

Nintendodragon · Posts: 259

Ive got some time to kill....

this is the best pizza eating documentry i've ever seen.

Its also the only one i've seen..

108 · Posts: 2600

I don't even want to THINK about some pizza-eating, because that's some shit I just can't do over here.

When I think about the day I made the choice to live in Japan, where it's possible to raise your eyebrows at Japanese schoolgirls on the train, only to be looked upon with disgust, over living in America, where there is pizza, I . . . well, what was I thinking?

I guess I was thinking I had a shot with the schoolgirls.

Well, that sure turned out . . . wrong.

Yes, Agent Orange, thank you for fixing the forums!

Now, can you see about my, uh, friends' site?

Nintendodragon · Posts: 259

the video for the squating contest doesnt work :(

it just loops.

I dont get how you could speak Nihongo before you went to Japan?
Ive been leaning for about 6-7 months but I only have very basic Japanese...

EndlessChris · Posts: 431

Persona's art is... fun. I like it a lot really.

I'll print that review out and read it through "Debate class." Where I honestly had to write a paper about "Listen to Me" an 80s movie about a debate team starring fucking Kirk Cameron (Mike Seaver from Growing Pains).

I might write you another review soon Tim. I've just been busy writing stupid fucking papers about Kirk Cameron movies.

But uh, keep on keeping on. And also have Persona make you more art for your otherwise artless site.

*edit* you should resize that new FFdog for PSP viewing so I don't have to do it myself *edit*

TOLLMASTER · Posts: 1977

I read the FF7 review. I liked it. I wasn't excited about it.

. . .

Let me put it another way: I was excited after I read your Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow "article." If I had to describe it in four sentences, I might use exclamation points instead of periods in the paragraph. I didn't like the "article," however, because it made fun of one of the best games ever, Metroid Fusion. You called it Metroid: Run 'n Gun Adventure, I think. I said to myself at the time, that's bullshit. Super Metroid, Metroid 3, was perfect, so instead of fucking with the formula they created an entirely new one for Metroid 4. It reminded people of Metroid, like any game in a series should remind you of previous games in a series, but it did something totally different, and I liked that. So that ruined the article for me. But it got me excited! I walked away with this nebulous "wow" feeling, like someone had just set down this revolutionary theory that rocked the world.

I didn't get that with your FF7 review. Your ideas seemed...laid back, thought out fully, almost degendered, if that's even a word. If it's not, I trust that you know what I mean. I agreed with most of them, but it was a passive agreement. It didn't rock my world and set me into orbit. I read it and said to myself "yeah, FF7 ending after the battle/not a battle with the Turks would have been interesting" and other things. No exclamation points.

On a forum where you would be banned just for attempting to join, I stated that Jeremy Parish, aka Toastyfrog, was the second best writer on the internet. I implied that you were the first. The FF7 review doesn't seem written by you. It's passive, instead of agressive; it's right, but not right in a horrible kind of way, like Life: Non-Warp was. If I was writing that post on that forum again, I would say something like:

jeremy parish is the second best writer on the internet; tim rogers is the first, when he feels like it :pookie:

I didn't get excited about this article. Have you ever played Gungrave? That has a difficulty setting called "Kick Ass," right after Hard. You don't get excited about Hard, it's just hard, but Kick Ass, you walk into, guns a-blazing, knowing you're trying to beat something that is supposed to Kick your Ass. It's exciting.

I think you played at Hard difficulty this time, is what I'm saying.

108 · Posts: 2600

I called it "Metroid Run'n'Gun Puzzle Challenge."

You know, the more I think back on it, I didn't like Metroid Fusion because I just couldn't stand to play it on the GBA. I couldn't see the fucking thing half the time.

Yeah.

So yeah, about this review -- well. I believe I said all there was to be said. I myself felt very passive about writing it. The thing about Final Fantasy VII is that it was, at the time of its release, very . . . absolute in what it was. It was a go-for-broke effort to excite people right now. Looked at in the future -- which is where we are, uh, now -- it's a little confusing to sort out.

And when youd o sort it out, it's a little, uh . . . just there.

I wrote this review maybe five times before settling on this version, which you must all TRUST me is the best version. That's all there is to it.

In other words: It would be better if Persona would finish the images.

And yeah -- I will indeed make the next FFDog optimized for PSP viewing. Oh yes. You shall see!!

. . . I promise I'll get this one up in less than two years, too.

EndlessChris · Posts: 431

You know, the FFDogs are really more retrospectives (whatever the fuck that word means) than they are reviews, and as such they're looking back at something and examining it. It's not the same as tackling a new game head on and making wild accusations about who and what was trying to do what with who.

This piece is laid back, thoughtful. It has a style where it seems like things were refined, made more concise, rather than Tim's regular breakneck style. And, you know... it's good.

You can't praise Metroid Fusion for doing something new and then not praise Tim for doing the same thing.

108 · Posts: 2600

Aw, thanks.

. . . now answer the email I sent your gmail about CIMA.

. . . that sentence was messed-up.

And, uh, the breakneck style will return with unrelenting force in "The Most Gorgeous Situation in Korea."

TOLLMASTER · Posts: 1977

Just posting again to tell you that I wasn't trying to be critical of your review.

I wasn't trying to be critical of your review.

I think I understand a little better with what Tim said. EndlessChris, my eternal enemy (GET OUT OF MY STATE, THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE), also sums it up quite well. I didn't mean to not call it "good," as I liked it.

Let's talk about Metroid Fusion again. I have preconceived notions of how a Metroid game should be. I like Metroid Fusion because it bends and breaks these notions. But, it doesn't shatter them. I still collect items that make me more powerful, I still find secret areas. It feels like Metroid, but different.

I also have preconceived notions of how a Tim Rogers article should be. This FF7 article kind of shatters them. It doesn't feel like Tim Rogers anymore. It's still good, hell, it's the best retrospective (let's use EC's word) I've seen on FF7. You can tell Tim Rogers has spent a lot of time thinking about FF7, you can tell he's played FF7, you can tell how he feels about FF7. And he's not afraid to tell you about FF7. I have the feeling that Jeremy Parish, second best writer on the internets, would have trouble doing that last part, if you get my meaning.

When I walked away from the article, I didn't feel like I usually do after a Tim Rogers article. My post seems kind of bitchy and critical, but I'm not going to edit it, because...I don't know why. I guess it feels like it says what I feel. But I wanted to clarify that I think the article itself is cool, that Tim Rogers is cool, and that I'm sorry if I hurt any feelings (I think of Tim as invulnerable, I'm mostly talking to his fans here). I feel kind of like a jackass right now, and would like to make amends.

Dark Age Iron Savior · Posts: 3148

TOLLMASTER wrote:

jeremy parish is the second best writer on the internet; tim rogers is the first, when he feels like it :pookie:

every day is backwards day!

oneEIGHTkevin · Posts: 465

Tim you don't look as healthy in the FFDog video as you do in your pictures.

Is this like a year old or something?

Mister Toups · Posts: 4943

Metroid Fusion is the best action game on the GBA. Yeah, better than Aria of Sorrow, which is the best adventure game.

Metroid Fusion is less a Metroid game and more a Metal Gear game. Think of it in those terms.

I've drank tabasco straight out of the bottle before. It's good.

Legal Step · Posts: 1030

Marco used to do that, when he was homeless and hungry in Tokyo. Unless that was all lies.

Did it wake you up?

Mister Toups · Posts: 4943

Today I was making a turkey burger. I sprinkled a liberal amount of tabasco on the cold side uf the burger that was facing up. When I flipped it over, and the cold tabasco landed on the hot skillet, the air immediately filled with a thick, unbreathable odor from the boiling, hissing sauce. I started coughing for air and fell to my knees on the kitchen floor.

After I was done I sprinkled more on the other side.

dhex · Posts: 2963

are you sure it wasn't the turkey burger?

Mister Toups · Posts: 4943

Why what are you trying to imply sir?

When is someone going to make some kind of smart commentary about the fact that nearly every FF game's first boss has a state in which it is "guarding" and will counterattack, and you have to wait till it changes states before attacking.

BEIGE · Posts: 208

I liked it. It gave me ideas and I learned a lot from it. This is the value of
analysis.

Mister Toups wrote:

Today I was making a turkey burger. I sprinkled a liberal amount of tabasco on the cold side uf the burger that was facing up. When I flipped it over, and the cold tabasco landed on the hot skillet, the air immediately filled with a thick, unbreathable odor from the boiling, hissing sauce. I started coughing for air and fell to my knees on the kitchen floor.

After I was done I sprinkled more on the other side.

Okay.

Mister Toups · Posts: 4943

The burger was fucking delicious. I've become convinced that a heavy coating of tabasco is the only way to season a burger.

I ate it with alfafa sprouts on a wheat bun.

BEIGE · Posts: 208

Mister Toups wrote:

The burger was fucking delicious. I've become convinced that a heavy coating of tabasco is the only way to season a burger.

I ate it with alfafa sprouts on a wheat bun.

Tread carefully.

Tabasco is the all-purpose seasoning. It can go on anything. French fries, ice cream, probably sashimi too.

Just because you have it, doesn't mean you should use it. Such powerful flavors are not for the weak.

Dark Age Iron Savior · Posts: 3148

Seasonings defeat the whole purpose of sandwiches.

Been a long time since I had anything in burger format that wans't made from cow.

extralife · Posts: 3316

108 wrote:

And, uh, the breakneck style will return with unrelenting force in "The Most Gorgeous Situation in Korea."

That better be a fucking novel by now, Mr. Rogers. I ain't paying you for your ideas.

LW Joestar · Posts: 1358

Mister Toups wrote:

When is someone going to make some kind of smart commentary about the fact that nearly every FF game's first boss has a state in which it is "guarding" and will counterattack, and you have to wait till it changes states before attacking.

It might actually be only half of them.

I think 4 started it.

I know 1 didn't do it, I'm pretty sure 2 didn't, but I won't call it either way.

3 didn't, I'm fairly certain. 4 we've already covered; 5, I don't even remember what the first boss was, even having played the game to almost-completion three times.

6 and 7 definitely did it.

8 didn't definitely didn't.

9 and 10 I don't actually remember the first bosses of.

I haven't even gotten to the first boss in 11.

So we have 3 that definitely didn't do it, 3 that definitely did, and 5 uncertain. Anyone care to fill in the blanks?

108 · Posts: 2600

oneEIGHTkevin wrote:

Tim you don't look as healthy in the FFDog video as you do in your pictures.

Is this like a year old or something?

It's two years old, actually.

God damn I hate the way I look in those videos. I look like a fuckin' slob.

So who's watched "Parappa the Rapper in Torrance"?!

That's the best part of this whole feature.

Dark Age Iron Savior · Posts: 3148

LW Joestar wrote:

So we have 3 that definitely didn't do it, 3 that definitely did, and 5 uncertain. Anyone care to fill in the blanks?

9 is "sort of". The first boss battle in the game, as signified by "Battle 2" playing, is that rape plant in that stupid forest after you crash the airships. If I remember correctly, it will eat a character, and then you can't attack it without hurting them or something like that.

oh fuck me, I've put over 100 hours into that game and played through the first disc around four times. why can't I remember?

extralife · Posts: 3316

I'm almost certin five had one as well, though I can't for the life of me recall it.

Mr. Business · Posts: 1530

I could swear that Chrono Trigger did hiding behind rocks when the wind blows before FFVII did it. Then again, I guess it was trees that one hid behind in CT.

Mister Toups · Posts: 4943

108 wrote:

oneEIGHTkevin wrote:

Tim you don't look as healthy in the FFDog video as you do in your pictures.

Is this like a year old or something?

It's two years old, actually.

God damn I hate the way I look in those videos. I look like a fuckin' slob.

So who's watched "Parappa the Rapper in Torrance"?!

That's the best part of this whole feature.

The links don't work. Nor do the image links.

108 · Posts: 2600

extralife wrote:

I'm almost certin five had one as well, though I can't for the life of me recall it.

Yeah, the boss of the wind shrine is a bird who closes and opens his wings.

In other words -- yeah, I know my shit, people, and I've already got the blocking-boss syndrome spelled out in my Final Fantasy V review.

Oh yes.

As for the Chrono Trigger shit -- yeah. Yeah. Chrono Trigger focused heavily on "event-based" dungeons, and in many ways it paved the way for Final Fantasy VII.

Though I think more people fondly remember Chrono Trigger than remember Final Fantasy VII because Chrono Trigger's graphical configuration was perfect, implemented exactly as the designers wanted it to be.

This gives me an idea for another thread . . .

shnozlak · Posts: 704

Mr. Business wrote:

I could swear that Chrono Trigger did hiding behind rocks when the wind blows before FFVII did it. Then again, I guess it was ~~trees~~ sheep that one hid behind in CT.

Devilmaycare · Posts: 15

About the alt text in that review...Barret's last name is Wallace. I'd know; being a ten year old black guy and seeing a black character in a video game for the first time makes you remember those semi-obscure facts about him, even if he was, you know, totally and utterly stereotypical. I gotta dig how they went against one prominent stereotype and had the black guy taking care of a kid that wasn't even his. That's exactly what my Dad did now that I think about it...maybe that's why I dig Barret so much.

I like your FF7 review because you said...almost everything that the player is probably feeling as they go through the game. It also nearly pins down my complete feelings about replaying the game. I haven't got the same "drive" from a game as I did the first time I beat FF7. Every time I play it now, the flaws rise from the murky depths, issuing forth their blasphemies and ruining what I used to think was the best game ever and is not what I used to heralded in my mind as untouchable.

Anyway, SE needs to make another game with a black guy. With glasses. Who doesn't cuss. Then they should have him with a white love interest. If it went my way, all the white people would die in the end except that love interest. That would probably work better in a movie than in a game though...

the drunken samurai · Posts: 4645

Devilmaycare wrote:

If it went my way, all the white people would die in the end except that love interest. That would probably work better in a movie than in a game though...

you mean like that movie 'O' but everything reversed?

Devilmaycare · Posts: 15

In a way...that was a good movie by the way I thought. What happened at the end made me flinch, I didn't think "O" was going to do that.

I could call the game Jungle Fever.

the drunken samurai · Posts: 4645

i expected O to kill him self,but not that way.the story was a modern adaptation of shakespeares Othello,and i read it long before i saw the movie. it shocked me too though